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My theory is that there is no such thing as an ugly bride and this has held true for me over the past seven years and several hundred weddings. As a wedding officiant I see brides in all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnic origin. I see women who have irregular facial features, bad teeth, unruly hair, big noses, eyes too close together or too far apart – whatever you want to describe as less than beautiful. I have seen short brides and tall brides, brides who were too fat or too thin or who thought they were too fat or too thin. I have seen pregnant brides, old brides and very young brides. All were beautiful. Read the rest of this entry »

The search for the perfect wedding song has always been one of the difficult tasks for Christian married couples. As an occasion full of love, liveliness and promises, good wedding songs not only set the mood of the crowd, but also describe the couple’s feelings and emotions for that moment and expectations from their life to come. Read the rest of this entry »

There is something to be said about buying a unique wedding gift. First of all, it better be unique and creative enough to go beyond the traditional gift of money. Most couples prefer cash as it helps with wedding expenses and the honeymoon. However, if you have it in your head that you want to give a truly unique gift as opposed to money, here are some ideas that you might consider. Read the rest of this entry »

Hey – it’s all about you; take back your ceremony!

It is a ritual – time honored and sacred – but that does not mean your wedding ceremony has to be like every other…yawn. Of course, some couples choose to be extremely original and opt for exchanging vows on a roller coaster, while bungee jumping or even dressed as trekies. I say – good for them for such uninhibited displays of originality. But even if you prefer a more traditional and “scream-free” wedding ceremony, you can still find creative ways to infuse your ceremony with elements that are distinctly you. Browse my favorite ceremony ideas: Read the rest of this entry »

When it comes to weddings, the focus is usually on the bride. Everyone thinks of it as her special day, that event she’s been looking forward to since she was a child and the time when she’ll be the center of attention as she embarks on a new life. But what about the groom? It’s his day too, and one that he should plan just as carefully as the bride. Ideally it will be a once-in-a-lifetime occasion for both bride and groom, so they should share the planning and the enjoyment of that magical day equally! Read the rest of this entry »

Depending on where you live, the average wedding can cost thousands of dollars. While some are in a position to spare no cost when planning the perfect wedding day, others simply can’t afford to or would rather see their hard-earned money used for something more permanent, like a new house. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone hopes to have a picture-perfect wedding day. Getting to that point takes untold amounts of time, money, energy and patience. Even the tiniest detail cannot be left unchecked, if we have any hope of eluding Murphy’s Law. These days, brides-to-be must even consider potential allergic reactions to their flowers, in addition to the more traditional details. It’s enough to crush the faint of heart. Read the rest of this entry »

“We’d like our dog to be the ring bearer,” she said and he nodded. “You want your dog to be the ring bearer?” I echoed in a wobbly voice. “Yes,” she said with a perfectly straight face.  “It is because of the dog that we are together and we want him to be in the ceremony.” Inside my head I was hearing a voice screaming, “No. No. Not a dog in a wedding! No, that just won’t work.” But my mouth said calmly, “What kind of dog is it?” The groom responded calmly, “A Rottweiler.” (My life flashed before me along with the image of this big Rottweiler’s mouth around my throat as I tried to pronounce them husband and wife.) Read the rest of this entry »

While there are many important elements to planning a wedding, the wedding cake is certainly one of the most important.

After all, the wedding cake is the centerpiece of the wedding reception, and certainly the most important of all foods at the wedding. Read the rest of this entry »

I hear it all the time. Couples come to me after going through every other marriage improvement method under the sun and tell me they experience a brief sense of relief from a certain program, but with passing of time, they fall back into their old ways. Read the rest of this entry »

Are you skeptical that preparing for a wedding can be a spiritual experience, rather than a stress-filled journey of details? Put our timeline to the test and watch your engagement become the most spiritual time of your life.   Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage is a partnership. Is yours going to be an equal one?

All partnerships exist because each party brings something to the other that is needed and desirable. No partnership is exactly equal because the issues are so complicated that it is impossible to figure out their relative values. But the degree of respect each partner gives to the other can be pretty close to equal with a little care and love. Read the rest of this entry »

Most of us have some strong negative feelings about “do’s and don’ts” just like we dislike other people telling what we must and must not do. But sometimes knowing where the pitfalls are keeps us from falling into a hole we can’t get out of. And sometimes knowing what others did that did or did not work for their wedding helps us make our  wedding even more special. As an officiant some of my recommendations are: Read the rest of this entry »

You’re getting married, right? Congratulations! And, you want your wedding day to be as perfect and beautiful as you’ve always dreamed. But, if you choose the wrong photographer, your day may be a lot less than perfect and you may not be satisfied with the images your photographer captures. Bummer. So, how do you choose the right photographer? Read the rest of this entry »

You’re planning your dream wedding and instead of a traditional church wedding, you and your fiancé have decided on a beautiful plantation for your ceremony. You can’t believe your luck! The date you selected was open and the caterer, the photographer, the videographer, the florist, your favorite band and everyone in your wedding party was available for your special day.  Everything was planned to the last detail. It is a month or so before the wedding and everything is in place. The day is almost upon you and all you have left is to get that marriage license. With great anticipation you walk into the Clerk of Courts Office to acquire your license and you suddenly realize that you haven’t contracted anyone to perform your ceremony! Read the rest of this entry »

A wedding band is a ring made of precious metal, worn on the ring finger to symbolize marriage. A wedding band is indicative of the fidelity of the spouse. It is usually worn on the left ring finger. It was a Greek belief that the vein in the left ring finger goes directly to the heart. The vein was called vena amori. However modern medicine has proven the belief incorrect. Read the rest of this entry »

At an outdoor wedding site you generally have two things to walk on – grass or concrete. There is the occasional gravel path or stones of some kind, perhaps even good old-fashioned dirt. (in a church or other indoor venue, you have a clean, hard or carpeted surface).This presents some interesting challenges when choosing wedding attire. Read the rest of this entry »

Traditionally (don’t you sometimes resent that word?) the groom appears in a tuxedo with a cummerbund and perhaps a bowtie and vest that matches the brides colors or the theme of the wedding. And, yes, it is elegant. A man who lives in Levis or in shorts and T shirts is completely transformed in appearance when he puts on a tux and people are wandering around looking for the groom because they don’t recognize him. Even if you’re used to seeing him in suits, there’s something exceptional about the way he looks in a tuxedo. We have to admit that a man in a tux looks awesome. Read the rest of this entry »

Most wedding officiants have probably been asked if they could officiate a wedding that was only a few days or a week or two away. With our troops being shipped out to Iraq with little advance notice this is not too infrequent. Is it possible to give them a spectacular ceremony with such short notice?
 
Of course it is. Read the rest of this entry »

A couple engaged me to be their wedding officiant simply because I asked them, “Why do you want to get married?” They said I was the only one out of five  prospective officiants they had interviewed that asked them that question, and it was very important to them that their officiant be interested in them as a couple and not just in the wedding fee. It is a good question that needs to be asked before the engagement but certainly before the wedding. Read the rest of this entry »

Why is it that guests come so late to weddings? Is it because they want to skip the ceremony and go directly to the reception or the dinner? Is it because they just can’t get their act together well enough to get anywhere on time? Is it because they don’t have a watch? Is it because their mothers didn’t teach them better? The questions could go on and on. The point is, many people arrive late at weddings, and it is often disappointing to the bride and groom that some of their best friends and closest relatives didn’t get to hear their “I do’s.” Of the several hundred weddings at which I have officiated, I can count on my fingers the number of weddings that started with all the guests present. Sometimes the wedding has been delayed thirty or forty minutes to let the guests arrive. Even after such a delay, some guests still came in after the ceremony was over. Read the rest of this entry »

They rented the whole country club, had 200 people for a reception and dinner, open bar, and all the trimmings. A string quartet played prior to, during and after the wedding and a D.J. kept them dancing until 3 a.m.  The bride’s dress cost over $3,000 and who knows what the flowers cost. They balked at my $300 fee even though I had a one hour drive to and from the wedding. “They had to save money somewhere” the father of bride said. And the father of the bride moaned over and over, “This wedding is sending me into bankruptcy.” The sad thing is, maybe it was doing just that. The mother of the bride was just concerned that it be the biggest wedding of the season. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a touchy subject and I approach it with great caution – the subject of the mother-of-the-bride. The majority of mothers are wonderful to work with and help their bride-to-be-daughter in any way needed. But there are a few who throw a monkey wrench in the whole thing and can literally ruin the wedding. Or it can  ruin the daughter’s memories of her wedding and/or cause a rift that lasts for years.

To begin with let’s just state: It is your daughter’s wedding, not yours. Please, please, please, let her have something to say about what she wants and what she needs you to do. Yes, you are probably spending a great deal of money on this wedding, but it is still your daughter’s wedding.

A good way to approach this is to sit down with your daughter in the beginning and volunteer to help (notice – it says help and not “take over.”) Let her ask for your advice and, when she does, give her the advice she asks for rather than using it as an opportunity to tell her how to do everything else as well. She and her fiancé should pick the cake, the flowers, the music, the venue and the minister – together. If they ask for your opinion, then freely give it. If they choose not to follow your advice, let that by o.k. and don’t let your feelings be hurt.

Some stories from my own experience may help clarify what I mean. Read the rest of this entry »

Often, in spite of the best planning and great organization, things get wild that last week before the wedding and things get misplaced or forgotten.   As the officiant I have had couples forget the rings, the marriage license and the candles for the unity candle ceremony. At one Saturday evening rehearsal I reminded the couple to be sure to bring their marriage license to the wedding the following day and they looked at each other and at me with stunned expressions. They had delayed getting the license and then forgot about it completely despite numerous reminders from me. They got caught up in the excitement of family and friends arriving and forgot some of the critical details. Read the rest of this entry »

It was a surprise to me when I started officiating at weddings that the photographer would ask me what my rules are.  “What kinds of rules does he mean,” I wondered. I still wonder. 

It is important to me that the bride and groom get the pictures they want of their wedding ceremony. Sometimes that means the photographer may need to stand in the aisle as the groom escorts his mother to her seat or as the bride comes in. He may have to go through some kind of contortions to capture the flower girls and ring bearers in  their finest moment. He may momentarily block someone’s vies or have to come up close to me or the couple. It may mean the photographer is moving around throughout the ceremony.  Read the rest of this entry »

Children are wonderful in weddings and often are the “scene stealers.” Generally serving as ring bearers and flower girls, they will do exactly what they want to and the will be –yes, absolutely — they will be children. Some make it down the aisle and some do not. Some walk, some run, some dance. Some make faces at the guests, some cry, some refuse to go down the aisle and some need to hold mom’s hand for courage. Regardless of what they do, they are wonderful and will almost always lend a little comic relief to the otherwise solemn ceremony. 

A WORD OF CAUTION HERE:

Read the rest of this entry »

There was a time when the officiant was given a love offering only. There was no charged fee because he was a part of a church that supported him. But things have changed, especially in relation to non-denominational weddings that are held in venues other than a church or chapel.

It is almost 100% true that a non-denominational minister performs weddings for the love of doing it. However, many rely on the wedding fees to supplement their income because they still have to pay their bills and put food on the table.

So what do officiants charge and what does the fee cover? Read the rest of this entry »

It is important that, if at all possible, you set up a meeting with several officiants before you make your choice.  It sometimes does happen that you find a perfect match on the phone or at the meeting with the first officiant you contact. If that happens, that’s wonderful. If you aren’t sure, then interview others.  Remember - your officiant can make your ceremony either a beautiful, meaningful joyful experience or something quite the opposite.

The officiant will generally take the lead during the meeting. Some things she/he may ask are: Read the rest of this entry »