Wedding planning truly is an art and that’s why many brides pay someone to organise every last detail, right down to writing the wedding invitations! Some brides even take a year off work to plan their big day! This is pretty extreme and not really necessary, but some brides feel they need this time to alleviate some of the pressure and stress. In fact, Read the rest of this entry »
Well, the big day is approaching and there is so much to do. Set the date, reserve the church, hire a band, get a dress, find a caterer, a photographer, a florist…the list goes on and on. For many new brides planning a wedding can seem like an overwhelming task. Don’t let it keep you from having the best day of your life, however, just follow my advice.
You are wondering how you will know what you need or where to find stuff. Well, take a Read the rest of this entry »
According to the Washington Post (July 2, 2006) “While clergy still perform most weddings, the ceremonies are straying ever farther from tradition, reflecting a “do-it-yourself” attitude toward religious nuptials”
How true, how true. Read the rest of this entry »
Over the past decade or so, unity candles have become a very popular part of traditional wedding ceremonies, and plenty of friends these days approach me to supply them with these candles when their children get married. I used them myself for my eldest daughter’s wedding last year, though my 69-year-old mother rather sniffily said that these new fangled ideas had no business to be in church! Read the rest of this entry »
Let’s face it – the world just isn’t as big as it used to be. As a testament to the earth’s seemingly shrinking waistline, more and more young men and women are finding true love outside their faith – and making it work. Yet no matter how progressive you and your families may be, the peaceful merging of two religions can prove an ambitious undertaking. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that love is the end goal, and get ready to celebrate a marriage made in heaven, er, make that two heavens. Read the rest of this entry »
My theory is that there is no such thing as an ugly bride and this has held true for me over the past seven years and several hundred weddings. As a wedding officiant I see brides in all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnic origin. I see women who have irregular facial features, bad teeth, unruly hair, big noses, eyes too close together or too far apart – whatever you want to describe as less than beautiful. I have seen short brides and tall brides, brides who were too fat or too thin or who thought they were too fat or too thin. I have seen pregnant brides, old brides and very young brides. All were beautiful. Read the rest of this entry »
“We’d like our dog to be the ring bearer,” she said and he nodded. “You want your dog to be the ring bearer?” I echoed in a wobbly voice. “Yes,” she said with a perfectly straight face. “It is because of the dog that we are together and we want him to be in the ceremony.” Inside my head I was hearing a voice screaming, “No. No. Not a dog in a wedding! No, that just won’t work.” But my mouth said calmly, “What kind of dog is it?” The groom responded calmly, “A Rottweiler.” (My life flashed before me along with the image of this big Rottweiler’s mouth around my throat as I tried to pronounce them husband and wife.) Read the rest of this entry »
You’re planning your dream wedding and instead of a traditional church wedding, you and your fiancé have decided on a beautiful plantation for your ceremony. You can’t believe your luck! The date you selected was open and the caterer, the photographer, the videographer, the florist, your favorite band and everyone in your wedding party was available for your special day. Everything was planned to the last detail. It is a month or so before the wedding and everything is in place. The day is almost upon you and all you have left is to get that marriage license. With great anticipation you walk into the Clerk of Courts Office to acquire your license and you suddenly realize that you haven’t contracted anyone to perform your ceremony! Read the rest of this entry »
Traditionally (don’t you sometimes resent that word?) the groom appears in a tuxedo with a cummerbund and perhaps a bowtie and vest that matches the brides colors or the theme of the wedding. And, yes, it is elegant. A man who lives in Levis or in shorts and T shirts is completely transformed in appearance when he puts on a tux and people are wandering around looking for the groom because they don’t recognize him. Even if you’re used to seeing him in suits, there’s something exceptional about the way he looks in a tuxedo. We have to admit that a man in a tux looks awesome. Read the rest of this entry »
Most wedding officiants have probably been asked if they could officiate a wedding that was only a few days or a week or two away. With our troops being shipped out to Iraq with little advance notice this is not too infrequent. Is it possible to give them a spectacular ceremony with such short notice?
Of course it is. Read the rest of this entry »
A couple engaged me to be their wedding officiant simply because I asked them, “Why do you want to get married?” They said I was the only one out of five prospective officiants they had interviewed that asked them that question, and it was very important to them that their officiant be interested in them as a couple and not just in the wedding fee. It is a good question that needs to be asked before the engagement but certainly before the wedding. Read the rest of this entry »
Why is it that guests come so late to weddings? Is it because they want to skip the ceremony and go directly to the reception or the dinner? Is it because they just can’t get their act together well enough to get anywhere on time? Is it because they don’t have a watch? Is it because their mothers didn’t teach them better? The questions could go on and on. The point is, many people arrive late at weddings, and it is often disappointing to the bride and groom that some of their best friends and closest relatives didn’t get to hear their “I do’s.” Of the several hundred weddings at which I have officiated, I can count on my fingers the number of weddings that started with all the guests present. Sometimes the wedding has been delayed thirty or forty minutes to let the guests arrive. Even after such a delay, some guests still came in after the ceremony was over. Read the rest of this entry »
This is a touchy subject and I approach it with great caution – the subject of the mother-of-the-bride. The majority of mothers are wonderful to work with and help their bride-to-be-daughter in any way needed. But there are a few who throw a monkey wrench in the whole thing and can literally ruin the wedding. Or it can ruin the daughter’s memories of her wedding and/or cause a rift that lasts for years.
To begin with let’s just state: It is your daughter’s wedding, not yours. Please, please, please, let her have something to say about what she wants and what she needs you to do. Yes, you are probably spending a great deal of money on this wedding, but it is still your daughter’s wedding.
A good way to approach this is to sit down with your daughter in the beginning and volunteer to help (notice – it says help and not “take over.”) Let her ask for your advice and, when she does, give her the advice she asks for rather than using it as an opportunity to tell her how to do everything else as well. She and her fiancé should pick the cake, the flowers, the music, the venue and the minister – together. If they ask for your opinion, then freely give it. If they choose not to follow your advice, let that by o.k. and don’t let your feelings be hurt.
Some stories from my own experience may help clarify what I mean. Read the rest of this entry »
There was a time when the officiant was given a love offering only. There was no charged fee because he was a part of a church that supported him. But things have changed, especially in relation to non-denominational weddings that are held in venues other than a church or chapel.
It is almost 100% true that a non-denominational minister performs weddings for the love of doing it. However, many rely on the wedding fees to supplement their income because they still have to pay their bills and put food on the table.
So what do officiants charge and what does the fee cover? Read the rest of this entry »
It is important that, if at all possible, you set up a meeting with several officiants before you make your choice. It sometimes does happen that you find a perfect match on the phone or at the meeting with the first officiant you contact. If that happens, that’s wonderful. If you aren’t sure, then interview others. Remember - your officiant can make your ceremony either a beautiful, meaningful joyful experience or something quite the opposite.
The officiant will generally take the lead during the meeting. Some things she/he may ask are: Read the rest of this entry »
